It appears that he was an unsuccessful admirer of the lady in question, and he admits that, under the influence of drink, he broke into her rooms, and there made a determined attempt at suicide. "Shall I never banish those horrible phantoms from my couch—the father with his bleeding breast and dripping hair!—the mother with her wringing hands and looks of vengeance and reproach!—And must another be added to their number—their son! Horror!—let me be spared this new crime! And yet the gibbet—my name tarnished—my escutcheon blotted by the hangman!—No, I cannot submit to that. The door was opened for her by a weary-looking youth in a striped jacket several sizes too large for him. There was no keeping Sheila from the truth, and it was better that anyone who lived under her roof knew it. You are going to accept a post as chorus girl, or super, or something of that sort. “There was a keg, hash, LSD, pot, you know, the usual. ‘No, but I seen the light, sir. She could tell that he was leering at her. It presented itself in the likeness of a great, gray, dull world—a brutal, superstitious, confused, and wrong-headed world, that hurt people and limited people unaccountably. ‘But you are idiot. “I have the right of the man who loves you,” he declared. "Had I not been the guilty wretch I am," he cried, bursting into an agony of tears, "she would never have died thus. A nod was exchanged. I have often felt before that it is only when one has nothing to say that one can write easy poetry. “You can date whomever you wish.
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